My Constantine
by PaintedTeacherLady
Summary: Serena and Darien get together in her living room, but he’s not prepared for the words he’s about to face. A story developed from the lyrics to “Konstantine” by Something Corportate, but not a song fic.
1. My Constantine

**Author's Note:** I developed this story from the lyrics to "Konstantine" by Something Corporate. This is by no means a song fic, although there are some direct quotations to the song. On the next "chapter" I will attach the lyrics to the song for any references you wish to make. I am merely utilizing the song as an aide to a plotline. 

I also decided to put this up as only one chapter, so one long read. I believe it'll have more of an emotional response that way. Enjoy! By all means review – it always helps an author!

**My Constantine**

As he sped his way across the city on his motorcycle, Darien found himself focusing less on the roadway in front of him, and more on the reason for the early evening phone call from Serena. She sounded agitated and rather tired, almost as though she was even forcing herself to pick up the phone to call. Serena had only mentioned that she wanted him to come over to her apartment because she wanted to talk face to face.

Darien smiled behind his motorcycle helmet; this phone call has happened on numerous occasions, especially within the last couple of months – Serena was usually in one of her sexually aroused moods and just wanted to have some fun, as well as a drink. He gladly cancelled previously made plans with friends from work for this special rendezvous. It was odd, though, she never usually calls this early. _Ah well, whenever the mood strikes…_

Although they had been dating for three solid years, within the past couple of months their relationship had changed slightly from constant expression of deep affections, to simple expectations and commands. It had kept him up on numerous occasions, but he never really thought much more of it. _It is just a phase_, he had told himself, _which I do enjoy!_

As he pulled up in front of Serena's apartment building and parked his vehicle, Darien's smile left his face as he fixed his hair and quickly put his helmet under his arm. Quickly making his way through the lobby door, he hit the up button on the elevator. Darien peered around the lobby, with its simple furniture arrangement and cliché décor. It wasn't a place he would imagine Serena would choose to live, but she has picked it out for the simple fact that it was close to his apartment and somewhat near where she had worked one of her two jobs. 

Serena had always been the type of girl with big dreams. Although some of her dreams were slightly childish in nature, she still had dreams of going places, meeting famous people and living the "big life". Of course, as she was trying to make her "big life" come true, aside from working, she was still putting herself through college, as well as working a night job as Sailor Moon. Over the first few months of dating, they had pieced together their alter-egos and had finally come clean with each other about their destined night jobs.

Darien made his way up to the tenth floor and proceeded to room 1008. He pulled out his key and let himself in, so as not to disturb Serena, who was usually in the bedroom awaiting his arrival. As he was putting the key into the hole, the door opened. Darien glanced up to find Serena, fully clothed, and in a solemn state.

"Serena? Are you okay?" He asked as he pushed past her, inviting himself in.

Serena quietly shut the door behind him and motioned him into the living room, "Darien, would you like something to drink? I have water, orange juice, green tea, wine…"

Darien sat down on the oversized couch, and stared back at Serena. He replied simply, "Water please." He took a moment to look around the apartment. It had been a while since he had been here, and still nothing had changed since the last time. The living room held but a couch and two chairs, a small television, throw rug and one side table with a rather ugly lamp that she had found at a garage sale. He noticed that the blanket on the couch was still piled the way he had left it the last time he had been over. He watched as Serena grabbed a glass from a cupboard in the kitchen and silently poured his water with little effort. She then slowly walked from the kitchen and extended her hand.

"Here," she said in a rather hushed tone. She then quickly sat down in a chair directly across from Darien, put her hand to her temple and began. "Darien, it's over."

Darien had almost put the glass of water to his lips when had had heard the three words Serena spouted with little effort. It was as if he had been hit in the face by one of the many evil creatures he had fought – unexpected and rather painful.

"You can't possibly be telling me this – I don't believe you."

Serena shook her head and brought her other hand up to the other temple and began a massaging motion. She took a deep breath and proceeded to explain, "It has been three years and this relationship has had its ups and downs. I've poured my heart and soul into this, my hopes and dreams, and within the past couple months I have finally realized that we aren't meant to be."

Darien put down his water and ran a hand through his jet black hair. He quickly stood up and began to pace, trying to figure out what to say. _What the hell? What the hell are we supposed to be? What does that even mean?_ After a minute of personal thought, he stated, "What are we supposed to be Serena? We are destined to be together – we've survived the test of time! We found each other in reincarnated forms from a previous life!" He continued to pace back and forth in front of the couch.

Serena pulled up a pillow from the edge of the chair and hugged it. She responded in a calm voice, but it waivered, "That was the past…" 

She was abruptly interrupted by Darien's overpowering voice: "Of course it was the past! I know you remember the many months of intense dreams that we both had years ago. I _dreamed_ of you! I dreamed of _us_, together. I know that you did too! We can't ignore the past – "

"Did Darien, I _did_ dream of us together. My dreams of us stopped months ago, when I began to realize that our relationship wasn't going anywhere. Unlike your dreams, mine were of our future together. Darien, you're still stuck in the past; while the present is just pleasant to you, it merely seems to be an interruption to our past. You're in love with a princess that barely exists today. My name is Serena, Darien, not Princess Serenity! We live here, now… not back on the Moon."

Serena rose from the chair, allowing the pillow to fall to the floor. She quietly walked over to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. As she did so, she peered over at Darien, who was still pacing back and forth. 

_He really seems upset by this – why the hell didn't he see this coming? He's been treating me like a convenient go-to girl instead of an equal in this relationship; constantly choosing to be with friends instead of me. He seems to think because of this "destiny" business that no matter what he does, he'll always have me._

As Serena walked back into the living room and sat down, Darien rapidly stated, "So what? I dream about the past, I don't live in it! I take you out for dinner, buy you nice things, and spend as many nights and weekends with you as I possibly can… you're always so busy! How can we have a relationship when you're never around?"

_I shouldn't have said that._

"Serena, I…" Darien started.

Serena put down her glass of wine, stood up and looked directly into his eyes, "How _dare_ you? You _know_ how much work I have to do to support myself. _You_ were the one that suggested that I move out of my parents' house and get my own apartment – to start taking care of myself. _You_ never offered to let me move in with you, nor have you helped me study or even alleviate some of my stress by offering to take care of me every once in a while instead of always expecting things from me!" It was all she could do not to slap him across the face. Serena turned away from Darien for a brief moment before sitting back down and grabbing her wine glass, taking a large sip.

_I never would have thought he would pull that one out. Of all the things he could have possibly said to me tonight, that was one of the lowest…_

"Serena, I'm sorry. I never should have said that, and I apologize. I'm also sorry that I was not as supportive as I thought I was in regards to your life," Darien made his way towards Serena and pulled up an arm chair adjacent to her, quickly sitting down, "I 

realize now that you did put your heart and soul into this relationship and I never actually put forth much effort aside from the basics."

Darien dug up the nerve to look Serena in the eyes and found that her eyes had glistened over and as she was attempting to hold back every possible tear that he knew he had caused.

Taking a deep sigh, Serena continued to coach herself internally, then whispered, "I was going to do this months ago, but I'm afraid of being alone. I've always had you; I depended on you too much. But it didn't help at all, trying to keep you close to me."

Darien rubbed the back of his neck. _So that's why all of this late-night, sexual meetings began. Simply as a last-ditch effort to keep me close…_

Without thinking, he blurted out, "Then why did I always have to sleep on the couch here in the living room? If you wanted to be close, why didn't you just tell me instead of beating around the bush?"

_If that is all she wanted, damn it, why wouldn't she just tell me? I didn't know… damn it! I can't believe… I am such a fool…_

Serena looked over at Darien quickly and noticed that he was lost in his own thoughts. He looked pale, as if a sudden realization had set in and he didn't like it. She quietly took another sip of her wine and continued, "I didn't want you to see me cry." Serena pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on her knees, still looking at Darien. "I thought that I could live with it, the constant hiding of my emotions behind a façade, but I can't. I can't do it anymore; I can't live like that. Our relationship would never survive like that."

As if he only caught the last few words, Darien's attention re-focused on the conversation at hand, "Serena, I've dreamed of our future together. I would become the Doctor that I've been striving to be, and then I would support you! You're dreams and ambitions would be right at your feet! You're just in your first year of college, while I'll be graduating in another year – I still have to do my residency, but I'll be receiving a steady paycheck. I just forgot that you're still so young." He stopped for a moment, as if needing that pause to refocus his thoughts, "I was so focused on me trying to get through school so that I could support you, I failed to realize that I need to support you at the same time. I'm sorry that I have hurt you – I put a lot of thought into our relationship, the future of it, but I forgot about the present and that thought it not enough, effort is needed."

Serena had let out her cascade of tears, and was madly wiping them from her face.

_Serena… don't… please. If I try and go over, she might back away, but if I don't, then she'll think that I don't care – oh hell!_

Darien went over to Serena, took a tissue from his pocket and wiped away the river of tears that had fallen down her cheeks. He then took a seat at the foot of her chair and waited.

After a few minutes, Serena refocused herself and built up a stronger wall for what she was about to say, "Darien, I can't…no," and took another drink from her wine glass, which was now empty. She slowly got to her feet and made her way back o the kitchen for another glass.

"Serena, I don't think that having another glass of wine will…"

She wheeled around and glared, "What right do you have to tell me what I can and cannot do? If I want to have another glass of wine in _my_ home, then I will have another goddamn glass!" Slowly, yet confidently she poured another glass and took a controlling sip.

Darien fell back into the chair, and put his hands through his hair. _The alcohol. _As he thought more about it, he began to reminisce about the past few months, particularly in regards to Serena's alcoholic alter-ego. He knew that she did not drink often, but when she did, it was like a whole new Serena. 

During one particular encounter, he remembered that Serena had phoned him up and pleaded for him to come over to her apartment. Without a thought, he willingly obliged – hoping to get some late-night action. At that point in time the sexual relationship was on the rocks and he took whatever he could get from Serena, even in her drunken state.

As he arrived at her apartment door, he was greeted with Serena holding a bottle of wine, and a black spaghetti top and panty set. _I can't believe I was so caught up in Serena's physical appearance that I neglected her emotional and mental state _every_ time! _Darien remembered that he had one of the greatest sexual experiences that night he had had in a long while, but it never amounted to much. The emotional attachment was gone from the relationship and it was only the motions that had connected the pair. Serena passed out afterwards; during other times she would go quickly to the bathroom and lock herself in, as well, she had often just shooed him out of the bedroom and locked the door behind her. This often left Darien sleeping on the couch in the living room, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.

_I am such an idiot. I can't believe she just wanted attention and support – and all I could think about was my own sexual gratification. All of those nights that she was working overtime, or even at home alone, all I could do to help _my_ situation was to go and socialize with my friends, or that one time - sleep with another woman! How on _

_God's green Earth could I have been so stupid? What the hell am I supposed to do now?_

"Darien." Serena's voice echoed through his mind and brought him back to the present, "I told you that you constantly live in the past. Here you are again, faced in a critical situation and all you can do is stare off into space, dreaming about your _Moon Princess_," she said the last part with such spite that it was like acid corroding metal, "I know that you aren't the one, you can't be. I know that the man that I am destined to be with actually gives a care about me! He would actually be willing to participate in this conversation without ignoring me!"

Serena paced the same area that Darien had been some time ago. As she turned, she continued to drink from her half empty wine glass.

With nothing else to go on except for sheer honesty, because things could not get much worse, Darien found himself spewing out a confession: "Serena, I slept with another woman. It was a few weeks ago and only once! I honestly don't know what I was thinking, or was not thinking at the time, but I should have been more…"

Serena stopped listening to the verbal diarrhea that Darien was emitting after the first sentence. _He can't be serious? Is he serious? Holy shit, I can't believe him. After all that we've been through…_

"…realize that I'm the reason that we are…."

…_past lives and present, he would actually do something like that to me… to us? I-I…. what the hell do I say? What is someone supposed to say to something like that?_ Serena's eyes watered up, her face brightened to a light shade of red and as Darien continued to talk is way out of a paper bag, Serena slowly stopped pacing and looked at him with a defeated stare.

"It's over Darien."

With those words, Darien ceased talking. _I can't believe it's over. It can't be… not when I am finally being honest with her, acknowledging my faults and communicating! Not when we are finally talking…._

"Serena, wait! Hear me out. This conversation needs to happen, whether our relationship ends or not we need to finish this conversation; this whole things needs closure." Darien stood up in and walked over to Serena, took her hand and brought her back to the couch to sit down.

_Why is he making this harder than it needs to be? Darien, why are you constantly hurting me? Damn it, I hate you!_

Serena turned to wipe her eyes, noting that the clock on in the kitchen read 11:11 pm. Tomorrow was her only day off in the next two weeks and she really only wanted to sleep – now that she had unloaded her heart of the stress it had been under. She looked up at Darien, his eyes pleading with her broken heart to at least allow one more moment with him. "Alright Darien, I'm willing to listen, but our relationship…"

She was interrupted by Darien's heavy sigh, "I know Serena, I know. Just listen?"

Serena nodded and Darien began his repentance:

"Serena, I can never say that I'm sorry enough to make up for what I've done to – or not done in our relationship. I know this, and I'm always going to hate myself for it. I took advantage of our _destiny_ and it took this long to realize that a destiny is only what we make of it."

Silently Serena nodded, listening still, but focusing on trying to control her over-taxed emotional heart as he continued, "I will always love you, not just because of our past, but because of what we created here in the present. Yes, I can't deny that I looked forward to the future, knowing that I would be able to provide for you and your big dreams of going places, meeting people and doing important things with your life. I just forgot that we had to get to that point together."

_I need to say something; he just continues to pour his heart out… just stop already, please?_

Serena readjusted her seat on the couch and began rubbing her temples with her hands and began. "Darien, you've hurt me in every possible way, and I know that other people wouldn't and couldn't do that to me!" She tried to hold back the wild river of tears that were waiting to let loose, "I let the whole world into my heart; I protect everyone from the forces of evil and the person who I am supposed to trust the most constantly let me down." 

She paused for a moment, and glanced at Darien; his full-attention hung off of every word she said. Serena could not hold back any longer, and with a large sob, she let the tears freely fall, "I also realize that I haven't been the most constant girlfriend. I'm always working, always at school, and always out at night fighting to protect Earth. I played games with you – twisted ones under the influence of alcohol and depression. I saw that you were drifting away and I became more desperate."

Darien leaned more into the conversation, still pouring his heart and soul into the last conversation of his relationship with Serena, "You got into my head Serena with all of those things that you said, that you did… I understand…

Both Darien and Serena stopped for a moment. For a split second the pair had a mutual understanding of their situation. At the same time they both whispered, "I never fought for our relationship."

It was at that moment Serena took a deep breath, closed her eyes and exhaled. Darien ran his hand through his hair and reached for his half empty glass of water that was room temperature.

"What do we do now?" Serena quietly asked, her voice now calm and collected. "We have made quite the mess of this relationship. It'll never be fixed. Darien," she took another breath, and began – her voice less empowered, "I don't know if I can even 'just be friends' with you. I don't know if I can even look at Tuxedo Mask again…" Serena faded out as her thoughts took over her throat.

_What the hell can we do?_ Darien's thoughts raced through his mind, _I mean, if she doesn't want to be friends, and obviously we aren't going to be dating… wait…_

"Serena, go out with me."

Serena scrunched up her face, obviously confused and irritated by the statement. "Darien, we're finished. Were you not just listening to the past few hours of conversation? This is what I mean…"

Darien shook his head and continued, excitement rising in his voice, "Serena, you don't understand. I want you to go out with me, on a date. I want to start over – start fresh. I know that we cannot just forget what we've gone through in the past couple of months, but we can turn over a new page in our relationship and get back to basics."

"Darien…"

"Serena, just listen, please! We both said it at the same time: I never fought for our relationship. Hell, I'm going to fight. I can't undo all of the horrible things we've said, done or neglected to do, but we can learn from them and build a better foundation for a new relationship."

Darien couldn't help getting out of his seat and pace in front of the couch again.

Serena just sat in silence; her mind taking in what Darien had just explained. _It can't be possible, nothing is that simple. We can't just "start over" like one of those games at the arcade._

"Darien, this isn't an arcade game – we just can't 'start over' when it doesn't work out." She shook her head and looked away from Darien. _I can't do it. God I am so tired; I am emotionally drained._

Swiftly stopping in front of Serena, he kneeled down onto both knees and whispered, "I love you Serena– just go out with me on _one_ date. If at the end you still do not believe that we can build this new relationship, then I will stop."

_I don't have anything left Serena – I've opened all the gates: heart, mind and soul…_

"I – I…." Serena stammered. _I've already lost everything. _

Darien had moved and was now sitting beside her on the couch. He was on the edge of his seat, waiting for an answer. Serena looked up and noticed that his eyes were filled with worry, hope, and that ever-present hint of sorrow.

"I need some sleep Darien."

_Oh Serena… not now… please…_

Slowly Darien stood up from the couch and started for the apartment door, but a soft hand caught his forearm. He turned around to find Serena looking up at him. She spoke softly, "Stay…"

_Serena?_

Serena gently pulled Darien back and he took a seat on the couch. She pulled the blanket at the end of the couch over her and leaned into Darien's chest. "I just need some sleep…"

Darien gave a small smile and began stroking Serena's hair, "Of course, Meatball head." 


	2. Konstantine Song Reference

**Author's Note:** Here is the song from which my fanfic was inspired. This is for reference only; I did not create these lyrics, and I do not know Something Corporate.

**Konstantine**

_by Something Corporate_

I can't imagine all the people that you know  
And the places that you go  
When the lights are turned down low  
And I don't understand  
All the things you've seen  
But I'm slipping in between  
You and your big... dreams  
it's always you in my big dreams

And you tell me  
That it's over  
Wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover  
And you're restless  
And I'm naked  
You've got to get out  
You can't stand to see me shaking  
no, could you let me go  
I didn't think so

and you don't want to be here in the future  
So you say  
the present's just a pleasant  
Interruption to the past  
And you don't want to look much closer  
'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope  
You had sent into the sky by now had... crashed  
and it did because of me

And then you bring me home  
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no  
And I'm sleeping in your living room  
But we don't have much room  
To live

I had these dreams, in them I learned to play guitar  
Maybe cross the country  
Become a rockstar  
And there was hope in me  
That I could take you there  
But damn it you're so young

But I don't think I care  
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry  
please don't think that this was easy

And then you bring me home  
'Cause we both know what it's like to be alone, no  
And I'm dreaming in your living room  
But we don't have much room  
To live

And Konstantine is walking down the stairs  
Doesn't she look good  
Standing in her underwear?  
And I was thinking, what I was thinking  
But we've been drinking  
And it doesn't get me anywhere

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs  
And all that I could do  
Was touch her long blonde hair  
And I've been thinking  
It hurts me thinking  
That these nights when we were drinking  
No they never got us anywhere, no

This is because I can spell konfusion with a K  
And I can like it  
It's to dying in anothers arms  
and why i had to try it  
It's to jimmy eat world  
and those nights in my car  
when the first star you see  
may not be a star  
I'm not your star  
Isn't that what you said?  
what you thought this song meant

And if this is what it takes  
just to lie with my mistakes  
and live with what I did to you  
All the hell I put you through  
I always catch the clock it's 11:11  
And now you want to talk  
it's not hard to dream  
You'll always be my Konstantine  
My Konstantine

They'll never hurt you like I do  
No, They'll never hurt you like I do  
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head  
with all the pretty things she did  
Hey, You know, you keep me up in bed  
This is to a girl who got into my head  
with all these fucked up things I did  
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed  
My Konstantine

Spin around me like a dream  
We played out on this movie screen  
And I said,  
Did you know I miss you  
Did you know I miss you  
Did you know I miss you  
Did you know I miss you  
Did you know I miss you  
Did you know I miss you  
Did you know I miss you

I miss you

And then you bring me home  
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no No,  
And then you'll kiss me in your living room, oh  
I know you miss me in your living room  
Cause these nights I think maybe that I miss you in my living room  
We don't have much room  
I said, does anybody need that room?  
Because we all need a little more room  
To live

...My Konstantine.


End file.
